Another Ohio Adventure

Another Ohio Adventure

Hey Party Ppl,

As you all know I had to take a little adventure into Ohio, back to my hometown. My car was finally fixed. I wasnt planning to be up here for more then a day, ending up staying up here for 3 days. As fate would have it. A few of my friends were around to chill out with. Plus, I worked on my other car. 1992 Chevy Caprice Wagon. I want to bring it down sometime soon, it worked out good time.



Anyway, to the important part of this pointless blogging. Wednesday Night, I hung out with one of my old zoo friends. We went to P.L.S.P., which is one of my favorite places where I grew up. While at P.L.S.P. I realized it was going to be a great summer night. The weather was nice, the sky was clear, and there was a breeze. So, that meant I had to take a side trip to the spillway. The spillway was a place we used to hang out at when I was in High School, and such. Then, not wanting the evening to end yet, I went to another memory fill location. The Parking Deck at University of Akron. That was the moment when I knew it was the perfect night. The glow of the city lights, the Akron Skyline, and the smell, the smell of fresh bread being baked. We walked around Uni of Akrons campus for about an hour or so. I couldnt believe how much it had changed. I did go there for 6 years, but that was like 3 years ago. Lots of new build, roads and parking lots now gone. It was a pretty nice campus, to bad to cost so much to go there now.



All and all Im glad I got stuck up in Ohio for a few extra days, I had a good time with old friends, but I also relieved how much I love Flat Top, and cant wait till I can get back there. Akron, Ohio is a nice place to have grew up, a nice place to visit, but Im glad I have Flat Top. Thank you for a Perfect Summer Evening.



Cheers

Another

Another installment of wait just me bitching some more.



Friends, did you get the chance to stare at the moon this evening? Oh, if you didnt Im sorry it was wonderful! So, this was another perfect night. Grr Ive had the perfect day, and a perfect night this month, and no one to spend it with. I do hate to waste these times. I do believe another perfect night will find its way to me this year. So, why was this a perfect night? Why do you ask? First off, It was a Full Moon. Oh do I love the full moon, I love the energy it gives me. The feeling of it just makes me feel alive. Then there is the smell, the smell of midsummer. Freshly cut grass, a light bit of dew in the air. Wonderful, smelled like vacation. It was also night that called for me to take a long walk. Which I didnt I should have though. This also would have been a grand night to talk to the spirits, but I didnt plan for it, and no reason to half heartly talk to them. August will be a good time to ask them about this fall. Is there any question you would like me to ask them for you?



July is a nice month, not to hot, still a lot of summer left, but no to much that you get sick of the weather. I do so look forward to my friends visiting so we can take hikes, play in the woods, and enjoy all around me. It just doesnt have the same charm doing all these grand adventures by myself. My goal for the fall is to enlarge my circle of friends, I will meet more new ppl down here. PERIOD. Wish me luck, for you all know as wild, crazy, open minded, and outgoing I am, Im also shy sometimes. This being my curse.



But, I must not take away from this lovely night. The most lovely of night you can have when its not storming, or about to storm.



Catch ya on the flipside.

Today I want too!

Ok party ppl, I was going to make this blog private, but honestly I only have 2 reasons to make it private. Reason one: I dont want people to see my weakness, but that would mean Im just bottling up my emotions again, and hiding who I am. Reason two: The party involved could possible read this and know a few things that maybe she doesnt currently know. But, again that would be me bottling thing up, and not being true to myself. So screws making it private, if you dont want to know my private thoughts then dont read on any farther.



You have been warned!



To begin this story, well really the beginning isnt as important as the middle. If you want a nice background musik to this letter, listen to Keith Urbans Tonight I want cry.



For the last month, one of my good friends was staying with me. She called me at one point her best friend. It was great, fun, and it took all the loneliness I had in my soul taken away. It was also kinda weird, I mean I love my own place, my own time, but it was so wonderful having someone to share it with. We had a great relationship; it wasnt love, or lust, but more the just friends hanging out. As some ppl joked it was like a marriage. At time I would agree. Just thinking about that kinda makes me smile, not because I have nor had any desire to marry this person, but just cause it was nice to know that when I awoke, there was someone here to share the morning with. Even when she was just sitting on the couch watching TV, and I was running around doing a million of different things, It was nice to just take a break, sit next to her, and have a quick little chit chat about her soap, or the weather, or what she was going to wear to work. Nothing big or life changing, just little things.



I, up until this point, I never thought that I could sleep well with someone else in my bed. See when I sleep in beds with girlfriends, exlovers or people like that it was hard for me to sleep. I just guess me and her with bed sleeping compatible. Dont get the wrong idea here, Im not talking about sex, making love or fucking. Just sleeping in the same bed as another person. I do miss that now.



So, back to my story. Im really now sure what happened. If I was a betting man, I would say something I did. Why do I say that, well its because just before she left I starting getting a little down, and when I get down I get boring. Boring Justyn is bad. At least I think so. Its not like I wine and dine anyone. I just like to be the fun crazy person that everyone loves, and thinks about. Sometimes that is hard to keep up with. I was also extremely stressed. Maybe it had something to do with that. I did vent to her about things I probably should have keep to myself. But, again I do tell my friends to much from time to time, so normally I just keep it all in, and let the stress overwhelm me, until I crash and then I can start filling the bottle again, no harm no foul. So, anyways she left. And when I mean left, I mean almost completely turned off our communication. Since, I met her we talked at least 1 a week, and in the last few months probably every day. But in the last week, just here and there when she needs me to help her out with things. Yeah, I guess its a two way street and I could have called or wrote. But, she is with her new boyfriends, the beginning of any relationship can be rocky, no need for me to possible mess anything up by saying the wrong thing, or calling at the wrong time.



Yeah, yeah you are going to tell me to get over all this crap. How can u be so stuck on a girl you werent in love with. My answer to that is, that is just who Im. Friends me a lot of me. I will drop whatever Im doing for a friend, a good friend is rare. But, I dont know why this situation surprises me at all. Its very atypical of the friends I meet. 99% of my friends at one point did something to give me grief, some more then others. I will forgive and forget. I wonder if any of them feel the same way about me, I wonder if I have heart broken my friends, given them grief. Who know!



I guess all and all this really all boils down too Loneliness. I mean I should feel kinda lucky, I have made a 3 or 4 friends in the past year I have lived down here. 1 has now moved away, 1 is off with her new boyfriend, one is young and finding herself and one is lost in the family crisis she helped create. But they are all still friends. But, I also believe I have grown closer to 2 of my older friends. One Ive seen and talked to more in the past 2 months then in the last few years, and other is rediscovering my good advice. So see I dont want anyone to think that Im down and out. Being lonely isnt about being down and out, and not wanting to remember the good, it just about a feeling. An emotion. Something likes that.



If my friend who most of this blog is about reads this. Im not mad at you, I dont hate you. When you need that best friend for advice, and to just bitch to im here. You are always welcome to return, and at least at the moment, everything we talked about during our late night chats is still true. Just know I miss hang out everyday, I miss you, but no worries have fun. Fun doesnt last forever. Neither does your youth.



To all my friends, future friends, past friends, or complete strangers reading this, just know there are a few nice caring ppl left in this world. You have just read the words of one of them. If you need me all you have to do is ask. I will do my best to help out in anyway I can for you. Why? Cause that is just who Im. part of my nature; ask around youll hear the stories. Im not perfect, but I have never claimed to be either. Im willing to say Im sorry when its my fault. I will be seeing you around. Thanks for taking the time.



Cheers

Perfect Day Lost

There are moments, sometimes nothing more then fleeting moment, but still moments. In these hours, minutes, seconds I desire something I can never have. I desire a closeness only reserved for those lucky enough to stumble on it. With the whisper of the breeze, its sweet song dancing on the amber waves of grass, the song is not heard but seen. Its during these patch work sky day. Its that tingle you get just before an early afternoon summer shower. Its everything about being in love. Its everything about having a person to share this paradise with. Its the sadness that comes when the perfect day is wasted. Perfect days are rarer then perfect nights. At night in its own right have a grander chance of perfection, a day, this day only happens when the stars are a lined, the minds are a lined, when the soul feels free. Sadly, like most perfect day in my life this one will fade always slowly. Why slowly? Slowly because its a reminder of what I lack in my life. It will remind me, beckon me to find that person to share these fleeting moments with, giving me the chance, calling out to me. But, Im sorry perfect day, Im sorry I will not be able to enjoy your paradise, Im alone. I may feel your sweet wind, taste you flavor, hear your whispers, and admire you beauty, but I must do all of this by myself.



Thank you day for giving me this chance, I will enjoy you in some distant future, but as for today, Shine brightly for all the other lovers out there needing this perfect day.

I bid you good morrow.