Satori - Fucking Kid Needed A Tribe

I'm so fucking tired of the media. So fucking tired! It's all about blaming this and blaming that. All the fucking people that just go on with their lives like nothing happened. Well, assholes something did happen. I'm not saying you need to change your life or anything but do something… FUCK! Take a goddamn minute out of your life, and call your friends, remind yourself that you are still alive and be thankful.

I was, am, will always be, at some level an outcast loner. I like it better that way. I attract negative attention, I know I do. And at this point in my life I just embrace it. But, when I was younger it was hard. Now, FUCK YOU to anyone who thinks everyone gets pick on the same fucking way. Fuck you! I was just blessed with a great family, and great friends to get me through the hard time, and to joke with me, and to build me to be the strong person I'm today. That's why I will always defend the underdog, wallflower, "loser", geek, Freak, weirdo. WE ARE PEOPLE too! Grrr… this is going to negative so I have to stop here…

Why does it seem like I'm the only one that gets it. Why I'm I the only one that cares enough to speak out when all you sheeple will just lie down, and follow the talking head. God had nothing to do with this, Satan didn't either. The idea of God's will is BULLSHIT. Read your damn bible, Free Will was given to man after we ate from the Tree of Knowledge. Free Fucking Will. Church is good for the recovery. Also, don't let the movies, the news the TV tell you what to think, you have gray matter in that thick skull of yours use it …

I feel for this Cho kid, everything I've heard about him I would have been friends with him. I would have given him the time of day, and helped him get laid. Fuck, wasn't there anyone around who had the time. Ask any of my friends, even some of the people I barely know, I will make time for you. Sometime you just can't ask, well then it's my job to see that, and make you talk. Come on people, if this social outcast, can learn how to read people, then so can you

We're all a little fucked in the head. I know that I have/had a death list. A list of people you wish were dead. If you would ever test me to see if I was sane or crazy, crazy would probably be the answer. I've looked deep inside myself found my very own shadow, learned from it, embraced it, and told it that he must stay hidden. I respect the power of the darkside, I love the evil side of things, but I also respect its dangerous powers. You will never truly understand yourself until you can come to terms with your evil side, your shadow. The longer you try to keep it caged up, and disrespect it, the more it will haunt you. Learn to understand why it there, and learn to not let it control you. Love the dark, and the light side of you. Know who you are completely!

I'm going to end with a great quote I heard today!

"Fucking Kid Needed A Tribe"

The return of Jerriko Rose

(-ff)

4.20.7

Love: Till love finds away!

While pondering the wonders of life, I came across a question that I've been thinking about long and hard for a while.

What are you three favorite emotions? So I thought long and hard and here it is.

Limerence, Suspense, Love:

Limerence
"Limerence, as posited by psychologist Dorothy Tennov, is an involuntary cognitive and emotional state in which a person feels an intense romantic desire for another person (the limerent object). Limerence can often be what is meant when one expresses "having a crush" on someone else. It is characterized by intrusive thinking and pronounced sensitivity to external events that reflect the disposition of the limerent object towards the individual. It can be experienced as intense joy or as extreme despair, depending on whether or not the feelings are reciprocated. While the use of the word has not gained widespread acceptance, nor can it be found in most current dictionaries, limerence theory is nevertheless used in psychological studies dealing with romantic love and is frequently discussed by those interested in Tennov's work.

Tennov describes limerence as beginning with a barely perceptible feeling of increased interest in the limerent object, that, if nurtured by appropriate conditions, can grow to enormous intensity, although in most cases it subsides to a low level after some time. At this stage, states Tennov, limerence is either transformed through reciprocation or it is transferred to another person who then becomes the new limerent object. Under the best of conditions the waning of limerence through mutuality is accompanied by the growth of an emotional response more suitably described as love."

Suspense
1 : the state of being suspended :
2 a : mental uncertainty : b : pleasant excitement as to a decision or outcome
3 : the state or character of being undecided or doubtful :

Love
A deep affection or fondness. ( in it's simplest form )



So what does this say about me? I have a strong romantic desire for a uncertain level of affection or fondness? Hmm… maybe this is my problem all and all…


I believe
a. in Soul Mate"s"
b. love at first site
c. Chemistry in love
d. Fate
e. Love that transcends time and space
f. Epic love tales
g. the importance of something that is Bittersweet



I guess Bittersweet is a grand way to sum all of this up.

"The sweet isn't as sweet without the sour" I love heart ache, I love being in love, and I love being passionate about everything I do.


So, why this email now? Why today? I must blame Magick, and Good Friday. I got a text today from the only person I ever feel in love with at first sight. When, I believe it wasn't possible. But, she was also the first person I knew that I would never be able to date, only be able to love from afar.

"(Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person,
And the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much?
So much like choking down the embers of a great blaze.
It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions
And to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds.
You let this one person come down in the most perfect moment.
And it breaks my heart to know the only reason you are here now is
A reminder of what I'll never have
I'll never have... I'll never...
Standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in.
Standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in.
But this table for one has become bearable.
I now take comfort in this, and for this, I cherish you.
…
For as much as I love Autumn,
I'm giving myself to Ashes."

Then there is my quest for love. Online quest. Magick quest.

Online quest is going a lot better then I ever expected. Online Dating is like playing a real life version of the Sims. Don't laugh, I joke about learning all my social skills because of the sims. It's a great game to teach you the important of Human interaction, if real people only had friend meters… lol

Magick quest.
I will tell you on the next full moon, or the blue moon in May.

Till love finds away!

Dating: The Sims v. Real Life

Kyds,
This online dating thing is so much fun! I've been trying a few responses to see what works the best and it seems if I just treat the girls like a would treat my little sister I get the best response.

Who knows if I will find that future exgirlfriend there, but it sure is fun. As I always joked. “ I learned all my social skills playing the Sims”

PS I think I’m going to write a book.
The Field Guide of Dating: Eastern United States Edition

-out-

Love: What do you do when you wake up and realize all your dreams came true?

Tonight I did something, I have forgot to do in a long time. I sat and watch the sunset, not just 5 mins of it, but the entire 30 min show. I watched as the sky turned to the amber, orange, pink, and scarlet. Then I watch it as the dark blue, and green took over. I mean I really enjoyed it, and reminded myself of how we take life to seriously sometime. How sometime we just forget to fall in love with life over and over, and over again. I love being alive, I love living the life I was given, pick out, created, or how ever it happens.

Today, really was a bag of emotions, this morning I woke up early, explored the world with Dora the explorer, ate cheerios, build a dream farm, and dance in my kitchen with a beautiful blonde. Sadly, that time was cut short. But, there will be a next time, and we will catch 5 fish, read 3 bedtime stories, and tons more games of hide and seek.

My afternoon, it involved watching a movie, not a life changing movie, but a movie that help open my eyes again. It was called the Fountain, watch it is worth your wild. My new tattoo idea came from that movie… I also planted some flowers, oh will my spring garden next year be amazing. This year was wonderful, all the hard work, well worth it, next year… Wow, is the only word that comes to mine.

Now to my dreams, I'll begin with a letter.


Dear girl I have yet to meet,

I love you, maybe people say it to much, or maybe not even enough, but what other people say and do doesn't matter to me, you are all that matters now. I watched the most lovely sunset this evening, I would be sadden thinking that you missed it, but you didn't where ever you were, I know you stop and enjoyed it, if only for a moment. That was our moment; I'm looking forward to talking about all the moments we share together. I know, sometime I can be impatient, but it's so hard to wait for the love of your life. I will though, I will. Just the thought of seeing your smiling face, even now bring a glow to me.



The dances we will share, the time we will hide from, and the adventure we will have. Why must you play these silly games? Alas, I know, the sweet isn't as sweet without the sour. You have your life lessons to learn too. To have something EPIC, the timing has to be right, the stage has to be set, and the love has to be unbreakable. Just knowing that you are out there though, knowing that I could hold you in my arms forever, knowing we are lovers from different lives, knowing that we had multi-life times to find each other.

Keep your eyes open, I don't want to miss a second of being lost in those eyes of yours.

Till that fateful day

Your Love,

-Sir Justyn





What is love?

This is the reason you never throw away old love letters!
<>"…because going out takes the adventure away, and I want to
get to know you as much as possible. Justyn, you're like a good book, everytime I finish a chapter, there always another chapter and I never thought it could get any better, but it has. I don't want what happened today to change what might happen tomorrow…"





What do you do when you wake up and realize all your dreams came true?

Aevum: "Heat" or Spring Fever final update

Now, that the Lent Quest of 2007 is over here is the recap. One, yes my friends sadly it was only once. 3.19, add that to the 1.20 and we know where I stand.

Till the next silly thing I think up!

Cheers

-out-