Satori - Complicatedly Simple

As I sit here writing this I feel the world as hopeless. Not the hopeless where nothing will ever be accomplished again, but the hopeless where I’m powerless to do anything about it. I see situations around me, and I just want to make them better I want to save them from heart ache, from family drama, from the extraordinary stress of ever day life. I want to be the great escape. I can’t and it’s a hard feeling to deal with. I just want to sweep them away and show them the love and compassion they deserve for being great people.

I had a conversation about “Carpa Diem” seize the day. I want to seize the day, I want to tell them, I love them, and I love what they have overcome, what they are, and where they are going. I want to protect them from what I feel is pointless hardship life throws at us. But, I don’t. I just sit and smile, and listen. It’s something I’ve just learned to do. I guess it’s the easy thing to do, but maybe not the right thing to do. I just don’t want to be a burden. It’s not my life; I’m just a player in their game. Patients, patients you try to have patients when you feel you need to say what’s on your mind. When you enjoy being around someone, when you …

I also woke up this morning with the longing to vanish this loneliness that has overcome me in the past few weeks. I enjoy the company of myself, but the company of other recharges me. The company of … the people I want to be around.

Balance, in my life is something hard to achieve. I either have too much, or too little. Extreme shades of gray. For nothing in life is simple Black or White.

Your choices are half chance, so are everyone else’s .Which puts far more of the control to fate, to destiny, into the realm of the unknown where anything is possible, and nothing is given.

I also guess its moment likes these when I firmly understand that as we play this game we call life, we must play within a set of rule we don’t always know, we never know the outcome, and we rarely know when it’s our turn. We try to plan ahead, to wait patiently for our next turn, and we may have missed a chance completely, One word, some random act, the fact that it rained on Tuesday, may have changed everything.

My life will never be a simple life, but I can wish for something complicatedly simple.
- JJ Ryvers

Waiting Patient for love ... <<>>

waking up wondering where you are, looking back at what you’ve just experienced and thinking hmm, boy life isn’t too bad. No I’m not talking about waking up after a drunken night not knows what her name was. I’m talking about waking up and knowing you’re alive. Looking at the world you just remember is out there, and knowing that you want to live in it. Explore what it has to offer, and find that co-pilot, the lover, someone who enjoy your company to experience the merry-go round with.

I know my direction; I also know my direction is not meant for everyone, it will take a lot to be a silver spoon lifestyle. Old Money, isn’t a luxury of mine, when I have fancy thing it will be caused by my brain power and a passion to be “Nuevo Riche”.

This may sound like a weakness to you strong willed minded readers. Life for me is missing the love story. I want my love story. Sometimes it makes me laugh, for all my ability to understand people, to learn what makes them tick, to be friend strangers; the mystery of love still haunts me. Why we do what we do for and not for love amaze me. Love is truly a human conduction.

So, here I’m patiently waiting and wondering when the next chapter of my love story will be written. Patients, that curse of the youth. I truly understand something, some people are worth waiting for. I just need the strength to wait, and the understanding that “she” is worth the wait.



Honestly, I’m going to play this hand out. Some say we only live once.If that is true, I have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. I’ve loved and lost, not loved at all, and I've been left with that taste of scorn in my mouth. Even if this girl only offers me a few good year, it should be one hell of a ride, and if I’m lucky a love that could set my soul on fire. So, yes I will wait; no expectation, no fast forward button, just sitting in the rocker watching her grown into the most beautiful experience I may ever see.